“I don’t even know that you’re feeling this way”
Well first off, HAPPY NEW YEAR! Goodbye crummy 2008, Hello 2009. Is it just me or did this year flew? I don’t remember what happened during this year. Well, I have to remember writing 2009 on my papers instead of 2008. Joy. I go back to school on the fifth. Break went by super fast. I don’t get it. Break overall was pretty good. Raining in Disneyland, New Years with family, experiencing more growing up.
The only reason I came back to write this is because love is really a trivial thing. All the effort put into it never gets returned back. My observations from what I’ve seen. My dad’s side of the family, all the girls have sucky love lives. My dad’s younger sister has a 2 year old kid and her legitimate husband left her and flew to God knows where. From what I heard, he was gay. Now my little cousin doesn’t have a father figure…well except for my dad. The only good thing is, every time we ask if he wants to see his dad, he says “No. I want mommy.” Cute shit right? But once he grows up, we need more support for him. I love him to death. Now my dad’s older sister wants to get a divorce with her husband. She works her ass off taking care of her elderly person. Like seriously works like no other. She sends money to her husband and her teenage boy. But her husband uses the money that she works for to pay for sluts to bring home. Here is my older cousin experiencing this shit. So now, my auntie cries every once in awhile. Actually, both my aunties cry. I hate seeing it because I feel like I’m going to end up like that. Knock on wood. Now my cousin from Hawaii with my Godchild has a freaking dumb ass husband. My God child, Nik, saw her dad kissing one of her God mothers. I mean what the fuck is wrong with the world! So my cousin and Nik left Hawaii and came to California to spend Christmas without the bastard. I can’t IMAGINE what all of them are going through. It makes it seem like my love life is so miniscule compared to theirs. Now my poor little brother. He’s been talking to this girl and it seemed like they like each other a lot and stuff. He dropped the L bomb on her and she says it back. I saw him crying before we went to bed. You know why? His so called almost girlfriend told him that she already had a boyfriend. After leading him on for MONTHS and telling him on fucking NEW YEARS? Are you FUCKING kidding me? Are you SERIOUS? I want to beat the SHIT out of this girl you DON’T even know. So I told him that she isn’t worth it. She really isn’t worth it. I comforted him until he went to bed and i just laid in bed for awhile thinking things. Even my love life sucks too. My guy friend is like…ignoring me now because I canceled our date. My mom said no because she wanted to meet him first. I told him and ever since then. No contact. At all. I knew I should have stayed back because now I’m staring at my phone and that’s unhealthy. I’m done with this shit. I’m so done. Wow. “Better In Time” is playing. Bitch. Nice song to play right? Whatever. I’m done. I’m done. No more. Please. I can’t take it.
Well. Happy New Year to me.
Even my dearest Jonas Brothers…well Joe Jonas had to spend his New Years with his psychotic ex.
