“I’m a one man show. I don’t need no one.”
You know lately, everything has been a blur. It’s almost the end of January. I’m almost 17 years old. Time goes by fast. Change is what I see. But are all changes good? I haven’t seen change in my family rift. I haven’t spoken to my uncle in months since the summer. I miss him. He was my favorite and now, I never see him, talk to him, or even get a glimpse of him from my window. My brother is starting to mature now. His morals changed. He thinks he’s badass but I love him a lot. He’s still that little brother that I used to love to pick on. But now, he’s like an older brother and I act like his five year old sister. The economy hit my parents hard. Struggling to pay everything, I feel fucking worthless because I can’t give them what they want. I notice that…my struggles don’t change. I’m on my own and that never changes. I really don’t want to depend on people. Once I do, it somehow bitch slaps me in the face. My relationships with guys never changed. Same old story, same ol situation. I was that different girl. The girl who listened to everything her parents say. Not being able to go out. It pissed him off. Threw me aside and moved on. It hurts to go through that again. I guess my best friend was right. Date someone that is in the same situation. Hah. I’m done. I’m done. I can’t take it anymore. That front that I put up everyday, it’s gone. It’s gone.
